Anti-Resolutions: New Year's Resolutions You Might Actually Be Able to Keep

Since the dawn of mankind, we have looked to the Heavens. We mark the path of the sun, and note the passage of a day. We notice the phases of the moon, and gain an awareness of a month. Then, those intrepid ancients took note of the alignment of the visible universe, and created a way to measure seasons, and years.

And with all our fascination with time, we promise ourselves that THIS year will be better than the last. WE will be better, do better, try harder. We make New Year's Resolutions. And before the end of January, most of those resolutions are out the proverbial window. And right now, who can even remember the resolutions made last year at this time?

So, to evolve beyond this rather masochistic practice, and end the self-punishment, it is time for anti-resolutions. These are resolutions you not only might actually be able to keep -- but perhaps, are the ones we should have been aiming for all along.

We at J and L present our anti-resolutions, and invite you to comment below with yours.

1. Have a sense of adventure. You don't need a gym to work out. Get outside. Breathe in that fresh (well, fresher) air. Walk with someone you love -- hold hands if they are bipedal; hold leashes for the four-legged love in your life. Walk the path less-traveled. See things you haven't seen before -- across the world or across the street. But get outside. Say hello to fellow adventurers out for a walk or a hike. And don't forget to watch the sunset. Now that's our idea of exercise!
2. Get some sleep. Well, after all that outdoorsy exercise, you've earned it. No guilt. Science tells us that a good night's rest can reduce your level of stress, and thus your blood pressure. You burn calories as you snooze, and rest helps curb your appetite. So, sleep does a body good! 
3. Look up from your devices -- after you finish reading this blog, that is. Unplug. Read a book. Have a conversation. Play a board game. Enjoy spending time with friends and family. None of us are getting any younger, and no number of  'Likes' is worth missing a moment of 'Life.'
4. Love yourself. Sometimes you have to spend a little money on something unnecessary. Sometimes, you need to have an hour to do nothing all by yourself. If you spend all of your spare energy on trying to make someone else happy, you will be miserable. You can't MAKE someone happy, anyway. Love yourself and you'll find you have more love to share.
5. Use it or lose it. You know that special something that you've been saving for a special occasion. Well, today is that special occasion. Wear it, use it, play with it, drink it. Material items aren't meant to last forever. Enjoy them now instead of saving it for someday. And less truly is more. Get rid of the stuff that has been cluttering your closet and your life. All of it. If you don't have a use for it, donate it. Or, in the case of old divorce paperwork for instance, have a good ole bonfire.
6. Write. Pencil or pen and paper are best. It doesn't have to be brilliant or inspirational. Write a story, a poem, a song. Make a list counting your blessings. Write a letter or a thank-you note, and send it. When was the last time you sent or received an honest-to-goodness letter? Not email. Real, physical paper and stamps. Remember when you could go the mailbox and there was something waiting for you besides bills and advertisements? Ah, those were the days. We could start a revolution right here and now. Bring back cards and letters -- and not just at Christmastime.
7. Be creative. Make something with your hands. Plant. Rearrange. Beautify. Just don't do what everyone else is doing the way everyone else is doing it. Be yourself. Your best self. And definitely be different. 

Now, the anti-resolution purists will tell you that anti-resolutions must be stated in the negative -- to emphasize what you will STOP doing. But we believe that violates #7. A resolution is a firm decision to do, or not do, something. Therefore, anti-resolutions are more, well, guidelines. And none of these cost most than the price of a stamp -- but can be priceless. These anti-resolutions are about seeing the best in yourself and others -- rather than punishing ourselves for our bad habits. And that is our wish for you in 2018. See the best; be the best; hope and work for the best for all of us.

Thomas Fire - Update

Where the Thomas Fire has and is erupting

On December 19th, J and L posted a blog about Christmas and those who may be missing that special time with their families. Those would be the men and women in uniform protecting our homeland and those closer - the first responders. In that blog entry, we wrote that the Thomas Fire which has been stalking and destroying homes and businesses a few miles northwest of Los Angeles, was the third largest fire in modern California's history.

That changed at 6:30 p.m. (PST). The Thomas Fire is now categorized as the largest fire in California's history.

The 'hell' that has been thrown on California

This is not what we had hoped we'd be saying when we updated this story. And, we would like to emphatically reiterate how much we appreciate the commitment and dedication of those working the fire lines, those assisting those firefighters and the folks who go out of their way helping in any way they can. 

What Christmas - We have a job to do!

Fire doesn't know nor understands political or religious affiliations, or anything else for that matter - this is a real hell of wheels, and people are suffering.

So, during this Christmas season we need to understand what these wonderful people - those losing everything and those working through the holidays - are about. They are about us - the average guy or gal. The homeowners leaving for work and finding at the end of the day nothing left but memories of their former abode. The personnel working day and night to save as much as they can with the knowledge they will not be home for Christmas.

My gift this Christmas will be saving others - the true heroes

These are the people we need to hold an extra candle up in the air during this holiday season. So, when out and about shopping, splash a little extra wide smile to a stranger. Let's make everyone feel better - we never know when we may need that encouragement from someone we don't know. 

And of course, drop a dollar or two into that Santa ringing the bell - that is what makes America Great - the generosity of her people to help those in need.

Give - it is what the season is all about

It may make the difference for a great day or a sad day for someone you don't know.

Is that too much to ask during this holiest of seasons?

May Your Christmas Be Safe

Sometimes during the Christmas season all thoughts turn to bright lights, jingle bells, and fancy wrapped presents beneath a tree. That is good – a time to be joyous is always good for the heart and soul.

It is good to be warm and cozy at Christmas.

But sometimes – just sometimes -- the holiday season means loved ones are away from home. J experienced this during the time he served in law enforcement. Working Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and the other special times families are together each and every year, but it was his choice. The badge he wore didn’t always allow him the luxury of being warm and toasty on those special moments surrounded by loved ones. No, patrolling dark and cold streets taught him that he, as well as his brothers and sisters in uniform, were needed to ensure as many people as possible were protected from the wolves.

This holiday season is no different for the countless everyday heroes who patrol the streets, fight fires, save lives, and keep hospitals open. This blog is for them – the ones who allow the rest of us to settle down for a hot toddy on a cold winter night.

It is of special consideration being a Californian and seeing the super-human effort in combating the recent and current fires sweeping this state that we dedicate this Christmas blog.

Thomas Fire encroaching onto a neighborhood near Santa Barbara

The thousands of firefighters, hundreds of police officers, and countless other emergency personnel will be giving up this holiday season in the pursuit of helping others. Hundreds, if not thousands of structures have already burnt to the ground over the past few months. Many others are in danger – as of this writing the Thomas Fire burning northwest of Los Angeles and considered the third largest fire in California’s modern times will continue until well after the New Year.

These heroes won't be home for Christmas but they are doing what they do best!

The citizens of Santa Barbara and its richer sister city of Montecito to the south are now being attacked by relentless flames.


It is this area now facing a disastrous Christmas Season but even with the terror-filled anxiety there are heroes doing their best to save as much as can be saved from the flames.

Cory Iverson gave his life trying to save others - definition of a true hero.

A deadly fire – one firefighter, Engineer Cory Iverson, was killed while fighting the Thomas fire and a civilian female, Virginia Pesola, died while trying to escape the flames.

For those families and loved ones this Christmas of 2017 will be hard to revisit in later years.

So, in this season of Hope we at J and L want to take a moment and thank those who give up their personal comfort and risk it all for the rest of us.

This is not acting!

On a side note, even civilians help out when they can – sometimes to the detriment of the professionals but often assisting in very helpful ways. One such example is the actor Rob Lowe who happens to own a home in the Santa Barbara area. Not only did he put it all on the line donning fire protective gear and battling alongside the firefighters but to show his appreciation cooked dinner for a group of firefighters at his home which they saved.

Hungry and tired but grateful for a hot meal prepared by Rob Lowe

And a grateful Rob Lowe with the crew who saved his home.

Christmas is the season for giving, and giving to each other is so much more valuable than a few trinkets covered in wrapping and pretty bows. According to Janice Maeditere, "Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts."

It is what the holiday is about - that time when selflessness takes over and only others matter. To step out of our comfort zone to make someone else comfortable and safe. That willingness to give everything and expect nothing in return.

That is the true meaning of Christmas.

J and L wish all those serving the needs of others this holiday season – no matter the career – who will not be home for Christmas a heartfelt thanks.

Merry Christmas to all those deployed - We love you.